gooseberry–fool:

(consumed with lust voice) omg what a fucking weirdo

transmechanicus:

Mob boss who gets equally passionate about rewarding loyalty as punishing betrayal. What?! Johnny Backstabs killed two of my rivals and saved my daughter from assassins?! Incredible!! I want him loved! I want him wifed! I want his bills paid! I want his rent gone! I want his dog pet! I want his gender trans’d! I want her car fixed! I want flowers on her doorstep! Get this DONE!!😡🥰😡

violentdevotion:

violentdevotion:

rose tyler hated her shitty job, wore £1 mascara, charity shop sweatpants, boxed hair bleach, couldn’t keep her room clean, hated rich people, was called a slag by the queen, constantly chat shit about her mum, slapped a guy that made her mum cry, astonished herself when she could do maths, 19 year old runaway, and the most beautiful woman on my tv 2005 - 2006

she rewrote her own history so she could hold her dad as he died and realigned the stars so she could save the doctor

dark-romantics:

“hot girl era”, I say as I rot and decay in my bedroom and watch the years pass me by as I miss out on core experiences other people my age are having

willofasherah:

seeing everyone just mindlessly sign up for threads despite all the clear warning signs feels like I’m living in Sailor Moon or a magical girl anime episode where the Monster of the Day just set up shop over night and their product is literally draining your lifeforce for the Dark Kingdom but people keep going there

cheesygorditacrunchh:

in some universe there’s a version of the show where Hannibal was just some normal guy until he met Will and then went all cannibal ripper crazy cause Wills pussy magic was just that strong

taysudon:

spideybkdk doods

do you enjoy my artwork and would love to receive one yourself ? give a support smash on my kofi !

kyacchan-comics:

My contempt towards a brand is directly proportional to how often they interrupt my playlists.

salemruinseverything:

everyone shut the actual fuck up. it’s ferb time

hypertextdog:

you have to let “dennys parking lot at 3 am” go. you have to think independently. you have to come up with your own strange places, and indeed your own strange times to be there. there’s authenticity in that

cosmic-spoons:

glumshoe:

I have always been partial to stories which feature the removal of many layers of clothing as an important plot element. One of my favorite Scandinavian folktales is about a queen who, through some magical conception mishap, gives birth to twins. The younger twin is beautiful and normal in every way, but the older twin is just. Y’know. A big horrible snake with arms.

When the younger twin grows up and wants to get married, the lindworm returns and insists that he, as the elder prince, must be married first. When a massive horrible snake with arms lays down the law like that there isn’t really any room for disagreement, but it turns out to be awfully hard to find a bride willing to marry him. The king and queen search far and wide for a woman who will take a husband who is 50 feet long, doesn’t have legs, and may or may not eat his would-be wives when they are appalled by him, but eventually they find a local shepherd’s daughter who is either coerced, a monsterfucker, or just very open-minded and agrees to marry the lindworm.

Depending on the version, the bride either seeks out the advice of a witch or comes up with the idea all by herself, and goes to the bedchamber on her wedding night dressed in many layers of dresses. Her big horrible snake with arms husband is waiting for her and bids her to disrobe, but she asks him to shed a skin as well. Her sexy Russian nesting doll cosplay has so many layers that by the time she is naked, he has shed all of his skins and is 1.) either a sexy naked human dude underneath or 2.) is this meaty blob of helpless worm meat that must be whipped and bathed in chemicals before he transforms into a sexy naked human dude. Either way, they presumably live happily ever after and the younger prince can finally get married.

I’d like to know how the elder prince adjusted to having a human body. He was born a lindworm and lived his entire life slithering around—he’s never worn pants! He’s never had to sit on a toilet! What’s he gonna do now that he’s a sexy 20-something heir to the throne? Is it a shock for him when he looks down and he’s just got one sexual organ? His butt is in the back now, he’s got to shave, he’s got to eat with a fork and a knife and chew his food instead of unhinging his jaw and swallowing it whole…. is it weird for him? Is his honeymoon spent learning to walk on two legs? Is his instinct to crawl out of bed and drag himself across the floor by his arms? Does he roll onto his back and play dead when he gets scared? Does he wrap his torso around his lunch and attempt to constrict it? Is his wife… into this?

This is the funniest retelling of the lindworm story I’ve ever heard

faramircaptainofgender:

maybe you could fix him, but I personally, don’t intend to. i want to see him baring his teeth while covered in blood

peach-tia:

“download the app to continue!” what if I kill you

pasteboard:

hey netizens! i’m not sure how many people are aware, but youtube’s been slowly rolling out a new anti-adblock policy that can’t be bypassed with the usual software like uBlock Origin and Pi-Hole out of the gate

BUT, if you’re a uBlock Origin user (or use an adblocker with a similar cosmetics modifier), you can add these commands in the uBlock dashboard (under My Filters) to get rid of it!

youtube.com##+js(set, yt.config_.openPopupConfig.supportedPopups.adBlockMessageViewModel, false)

youtube.com##+js(set, Object.prototype.adBlocksFound, 0)

youtube.com##+js(set, ytplayer.config.args.raw_player_response.adPlacements, [])

youtube.com##+js(set, Object.prototype.hasAllowedInstreamAd, true)

reblog to help keep the internet less annoying and to tell corporations that try shit like this to go fuck themselves <3